Hope
by heartlandiansoisle
Summary: Ty's accident brings back some memories for Jack. Set around 10x17. Warnings: mentions of death and illness.


Jack knew the light blue walls of the hospital were supposed to bring everyone a calmer state of mind, but they did very little to him as he sat in the waiting room. He didn't like hospitals; in fact, he hated seeing a doctor, even if he knew that at his age and with his medical history, it was a necessary evil.

Thankfully his doctor, Dr. Tricia Virani, did home calls as Jack would rather be surrounded by the familiarity of his own house and not a doctor's office, but the loathing for these institutions still remained.

But when Ty had returned from Mongolia, feverish and almost close to dying, Jack knew he couldn't avoid going to a hospital if he wanted to see his granddaughter's husband, who had almost become like a son to him. Right now, the whole family was waiting for Amy to give them news about her husband's condition, but unfortunately it didn't look good for Ty. Everyone tried to remain hopeful and refused to give up on Ty, but the fear still remained.

Jack didn't like this feeling. While hope was usually a good thing, it felt like sometimes it was a dangerous thing to possess, too. When Marion had died, any room for hope had vanished instantly as her death had been so sudden and there had been no chance of her revival. Amy had thankfully survived the accident, and Jack had tried his best to support her in her recovery, but Marion wasn't the only loss Jack had suffered.

 _Lyndy._

His sweet late wife. The first one, that was. While he'd been able to find love again with Lisa Stillman, Lyndy still had a place in his heart.

He missed her, often and quietly, but when he was faced with a hospital waiting room, the memories of mourning were harder to avoid: he'd spent Lyndy's last days at her bedside, holding her hand and watching her heaving painfully before letting out her final breath. Jack had known he was supposed to let someone know as soon as that happened so they could call her time of death, but Jack hadn't been in any hurry. That had been his last moments with his wife, after all, so he'd lingered. It wasn't like he'd been eager to go on with his lonely life.

Jack knew the doctors and nurses had done their best when it had come to Lyndy's treatments as there was no fighting the inevitable, but Jack still couldn't walk inside a hospital and inhale the smell of them without feeling nauseous. While he'd tried his best to keep it together today, especially for Amy's sake, there was no fooling Lisa.

"Jack," she said, leaning against his shoulder as they were sitting on the waiting room bench. "You've been awfully quiet."

"Sorry. I've just been lost in thought," Jack said, even though he knew Lisa didn't expect him to entertain her overall but especially now when the family was facing an uncertain future.

"You don't have to apologize," Lisa said, now turning to face Jack. "The reason why I said anything was because I was wondering if you're feeling okay. You've barely eaten anything or slept. I'm just worried." She knew Jack hated fussing, but Lisa still couldn't help herself.

"I'm okay, Lis," Jack assured her. "I just don't like hospitals, is all."

"Well, I can't blame you," replied Lisa. She knew Jack's feelings toward doctors and their opinions about his health, but more than that, she felt like she had an idea about the loss he carried within. "Ty's going to be okay, you know."

"I wish I could be as sure as you are," Jack said, forcing himself to smile a little. "I don't mean to be pessimistic, but I'm just afraid to hope for anything right now." He'd told Ty that he'd been afraid to let him go to Mongolia in the first place as there was no guarantee he would come back in one piece, and then... this had happened.

He couldn't say that to Amy, of course, but after hoping Lyndy's condition would get better and they would have many more years together, hearing her diagnosis and realizing what "terminally ill" meant in her case, something in him had changed. And so, his mind wanted to protect his heart from another unexpected loss as it would almost be too much to bear.

 _If he expected it, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much_ , Jack figured.

"Well, you'll see," Lisa said, bringing her head back to his shoulder. Of course, she couldn't be sure either, she knew, but compared to Jack, Lisa wasn't afraid to hope. "Ty will get better and things will go back to normal."

Jack let out a low murmur that resembled an agreement, just so he wouldn't bring Lisa down with him. Nothing was worse than watching your loved one realize that what would happen would hurt like hell and there was nothing they could do about it. Jack had seen it once and he didn't ever want to see it again.

For a while he just sat there, Lisa's head on his shoulder as she drifted off to a sleep. The long day turned into night and hours passed. They waited for what seemed like an eternity before Amy walked out of Ty's room with a bloated face and short breaths.

When Lisa nudged Jack, he realized he too had fallen asleep at some point. Lisa was on her feet fast, and Jack's eyes automatically followed his wife to see what the situation was. When he saw Amy standing before them, looking pale and as if she'd been crying, Jack's eyes focused on her. It was clear that Amy was waiting till she had everyone's attention as this was going to be important.

"What's the word, honey? How's he doing?" Lisa asked.

There was a silence.

Jack remembered that at the time of Lyndy's passing, he'd thought he'd been way too young to lose his wife-and that was after they'd had many good years of marriage together. Even at the funeral, everyone kept telling him how this was not how it was supposed to be and how life was unfair.

But Amy... she was even younger. Barely over twenty. Jack wished there was a way for him to protect Amy from all that hurt he'd gone through as he knew how dreadful it was.

Jack tried to read her expression, hoping to get some direction for her words. When the corners of Amy's lips turned up and relief poured out of her eyes, Jack held his breath.

"He's gonna be okay," Amy finally informed them, choked up.

The whole family hurtled into a hug around her, all happy and excited, laughing and showering Amy with love.

"That is so good to hear," Jack told her sincerely, giving Amy's head a kiss.

The future was uncertain, Jack knew, and some day Amy would have heartaches, not the kind he could always prevent, but thankfully that day was not today. She too would hopefully have many more years with Ty, as Jack had had with Lyndy, and they wouldn't have to worry about losing each other for a while.

Not many things warmed an old man's heart as much as realizing that even if he would lose hope, it didn't mean hope would lose him.


End file.
